Monday, September 30, 2013

On Nostalgia

If you know me, you know that I am a desperately nostalgic person. Nostalgia is ultimately what drives me to document things as I do. All the pictures I take, the quotes I jot down, and the blogs I write are for Future Maggie because I know she will want to look back on them frequently. Knowing this, it should not surprise you that I often find myself missing things.

I went to Austin two weekends ago for Britny's birthday. When I arrived, we met at Magnolia's for a late dinner. The smell of pancakes and coffee hit me full in the face when we walked inside and I immediately said, "Oh my God, it smells like home" because every time I get into Austin, we meet at Magnolia's. This is a tradition I associate with "coming home," with retrouvailles. This is a tradition I will miss when I move to Austin.

Really, it's silly of me to be thinking of this already. I don't move to Austin for another year. Still a year's worth of visits to have, a year's worth of meeting at Magnolia's when I get into town. Besides, once I move there, I can have Magnolia's anytime I want, right?

I just miss silly, little things like that. The drives to Austin with KaCee, for example. We'd listen to "Rivers and Roads" at least twice, and conversation always turned to talk of how glad we are to be friends and how we couldn't wait to move to Austin. Now that she's moved there, my drives are solo again. For someone who revels in solitude, I miss her company quite a lot.

Then there are phone calls with Melany. She has a habit of calling me as she sits in traffic after work, and I have a habit of calling her when she is either asleep or doing homework. When we're not on the phone, I harass her via text message and various social networking sites. There are also times when we are exceptionally sad and watch movies together via Netflix and Skype. It will be especially ridiculous for me to miss these things as I will be living with Melany when I move to Austin and will be able to watch a movie with her while physically in the same place, but what can I say? There's a lot about me that doesn't make sense.

Why do I anticipate missing these things? I couldn't tell you. From what I gather, nostalgia is highly irrational. I've stopped trying to understand it, and have decided to embrace it instead.


1 comment :

Natalie said...

I really like that now we know just what home smells like to you. And tastes like. Those pancakes, and the deliciously magical sauce on those eggs... I WANT TO GO BACK TOO. So I can certainly imagine how much you're dying to move there after all of this waiting and anticipating. Soon, soon.

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