Lately

● We still don't have WiFi, and I feel my grip on reality slowly slipping.

● I'm still not finished unpacking because I still do not have all of my furniture.

● Our neighbor is crazy. She rings our doorbell at eight in the morning just to chat. She walks around the neighborhood in her robe with her chihuahua. She goes back and forth from her house to her car, slamming doors over and over for no apparent reason. She turns her car on, opens all the doors, and blasts gospel and soft rock music in middle of the day and sometimes at two in the morning.

● Naturally, my bedroom is closest to her driveway.

● I was tired of people telling me my hair was brown (even though it most likely had crossed from dark blonde to light brown), so I dyed it very blonde so people could not make that mistake again.

● The next person who makes a blonde joke is getting sucker punched right in the gut.

● No one, including my professor, knows exactly what one does in Senior Seminar. In spite of this, my professor manages to fill the entire three hour block with inane ramblings.

● As far as I have found, English Literature majors are the only ones that have to take a seminar class.

● My Age of Chivalry professor is incredibly handsome. Like Joseph Gordon-Levitt with a beard.

● I'm taking a class on Jane Austen & Ethics, and am thoroughly enjoying it even though the Daisy Buchanan Girl from last semester is taking it as well.

● I suppose I should explain Daisy Buchanan Girl. She speaks very softly. She doesn't mumble, no. She speaks clearly, but just very, very quietly, and I think she does it on purpose. This reminds me of Daisy Buchanan, and it is for this reason that I hate this girl. Is it irrational? Yes. Do I care? No.

● (I refer to this quote: "I've heard it said that Daisy's murmur was only to make people lean toward her...")

● Last week, in less than a twenty-four hour period: The toilet overflowed. I broke one of the wine glasses I bought in Seattle. I dropped a bottle of Pam and broke the nozzle, rendering it completely useless. I forgot I was baking cookies, which resulted in a smoky kitchen.

● When lamenting these misfortunes to my friends, Britny said, "Maybe this means something awesome is going to happen soon." Here's hoping.

-Maggie

An Observation

In my years as a college student, I have come to realize that every other week of the semester is hell.

You will have a week where you've nothing to do but class readings. It instills in you a false sense of security. College isn't so bad, you think. I actually have some free time this week. I'll call up that friend I haven't seen since August and we'll go see a movie!

This is your first mistake. Free time is a myth. Like spacious dorm rooms and cheap textbooks, it simply does not exist. You only realize this late Sunday night when it is far too late. While looking at your schedule for the impending week—the two tests, reading quiz, and six-page paper all due within the next five days—you feel the panic set in.

What have I done? you think, head in your hands. Why did I sleep so much this weekend? And that ninety minutes I spent watching Sandra Bullock float around in space? I can never get that back!

After the initial meltdown, you drive to Starbucks to order the first of many lattes. Resigned to the fact that you'll be getting no sleep for the next 120 hours, you down half of your venti white mocha in the first gulp and set to work.

Over the course of the week, you cry a lot. You wear sweats every day. You think of dropping out. You see groups of eager, bright-eyed high schoolers touring the campus and feel the need to yell out, to warn them. Don't do it! It's a trap!

Friday rolls around. You drag yourself to your last class. You are literally crawling to your desk. Your classmates are silent as most of them are already asleep. Others sit alert, eyes twitching from the caffeine pumping through their body. Your professor takes no notice of any of this. His heart has been hardened by years of teaching at the university level, and despite the obvious suffering of his students, he plows through his lecture on the meaning of yellow wallpaper.

You make it through though! You drive home, put on pajamas, and sleep until noon on Saturday. I will not make that mistake again, you think. You check next week's schedule as soon as you wake up—just readings all week. You let out a sigh of relief. You call up that friend and go out for celebratory margaritas. This is your second mistake.

-Maggie