Wednesday, October 1, 2014

An Apology

Well, it's October. You know what that means. My last day at United is eighteen days away, and I leave for Austin five days after that. Only twenty-three days left in Lubbock.

This is all very surreal. I've been dreaming and talking about moving to Austin for so long, but it somehow still managed to sneak up on me. As excited as I am, there is a part of me that is sad to leave Lubbock. I don't think anyone believes me when I say that, but I really am sad. I don't blame them though because, as you may remember, I complained about living here. A lot.

My first semester at Tech was good as far as school goes, but the three after that were very difficult for me. For some reason, in my head, everything that went wrong during that time was because of Lubbock. I thought, If I wasn't stuck in Lubbock, things would be better. This, of course, was not the case. It had nothing to do with the place, I was just struggling with school. College overall was hard for me as we've discussed, and during that time I didn't make it any easier on myself.

There were a lot of ways that I made myself unhappy. I let myself become a very bitter and cynical person, and that was a person not very many people liked. I isolated myself. It took awhile for me to realize what an idiot I was being, how rude and selfish I'd become. Once I'd come around, I felt properly terrible about my behavior. There are thousands of people that love this little city, that grew up here, and I had spent a lot of energy belittling and mocking their home. What a jerk, right?

I had been disregarding all the good, and there has been a lot of good that has come out of my stay in Lubbock. I lived with my wonderful grandparents. I had all my aunts, uncles, and cousins nearby. I earned a degree in something I love. I had a good job that I enjoyed. I shared a house with my dear cousin–something we never thought we'd actually get to do. I made new friends, great friends. I regret that three semester period that I took all this for granted. I am going to miss all of these things, and am really, truly sad to leave it.

Please consider this my formal apology to the city of Lubbock. You're not so bad, LBK. Also, to anyone who ever had to read or listen to my incessant complaints–thanks for sticking around and loving me through it.



Natalie said...

I don't blame you for feeling begrudgingly about the town you grew up in... I feel the same about mine, especially when stuck there for prolonged periods of time. BUT that being said it's good that you can look back on it with a more positive attitude! And either way.... AUSTIN IS ON ITS WAY! So excited for you.

beenotafraid said...

This is all very sad, but YOU ARE MOVING TO AUSTIN WHAT UP

Dillon said...

It's a great reflection on a time in your life and hopefully it will remind you in the future that it's not about the place, it's about what you do with it! Also, AUSTIN! Woohaw!

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