So Close

Yes, yes, I know. I only had two days of BEDA left, and I fell off the face of the planet. Let me explain. As I had discussed multiple times in my BEDA posts, I have been insanely busy with school and work and worrying about school and drinking coffee to get through school and crying in the corner about school. My last two posts were set to be dinky little paragraphs apologizing for not having anything good to say or any time to say it in, so I saw little purpose in posting them at all. I know BEDA is a quantity over quality sort of thing, but my OCD kicked in and I just couldn't do that to my blog. So you only got twenty-eight days. Close enough.

School is still trying to squeeze the little life I have left out of me, but there is a light at the end the tunnel. I have turned in my last papers, and now I only have to study for finals and that's the easy part. By no means have I done well this semester, and that is disheartening, but next semester will be better. There is no point in fretting over things that have already happened and are now beyond my control, so I won't do it. As Melany said during one of the many breakdowns I've had these past few weeks, "Whatever happens may suck, but it isn't the end of the world. That isn't until December."

For now, I will study as hard as I can for my four finals and look forward to my few weeks off, which includes a short trip home and Apocalyptour with my best friend. Then a month of summer classes, including yoga with Jacob, which will be a trip, I'm sure. After that, I'll fly to Seattle at the end of July to meet the Blogger Family, and then soon enough I'll be starting what will hopefully be my last year at Texas Tech.

Here's hoping this next year will fly by.

-Maggie

April 28: Question Saturday!

-Maggie

April 25: Bits

Today, the high was 102 degrees. Summer is fast-approaching, and I am not pleased or prepared.

After I got off work, I drove to the Starbucks on Quaker and picked up a venti nonfat no whip white chocolate mocha in preparation to stay up all night working (again). While waiting at the window for my coffee, I was struck with a random story inspiration that I will hopefully get to write after these next few weeks are over. If I am actually able to finish it (because I am not good at the finishing part of writing stories) and it doesn't suck (it probably will), I will share it with you.

There are these new Dinamita Nachos Picoso Doritos and they are really good. New unhealthy addiction alert.

I am scheduled to work an eight hour and forty-five minute shift on Saturday–fifteen minutes short of getting a lunch. This is the second time this has happened. I am now on a mission to kill all the things.

Last night, I found out the entire series of Star Trek: The Next Generation is available on Netflix Instant. All I want to do is snuggle up and watch Captain Picard be awesome, but I must finish these next three weeks first.

-Maggie

April 24: Vlogbrothers

I was going to do a question vlog today, but I got home from school about ten minutes ago and have to work from five to eleven, so I don't have time today. So instead, I will leave you in the hands of vloggers much more talented and hilarious than I–the Vlogbrothers.

Here are three of my favorite, more recent videos from them. (All of their videos are fantastic though, so you should just go start at the beginning and work your way to the present.)







-Maggie

April 23: Tough

This semester has been really hard on me. This was my first semester of upper-level classes, and I had not anticipated how difficult they would be. There have been many times that I think I have done well on a test or paper when I haven't, and it's very discouraging and very scary. This is also the first time I have ever truly disliked school, and that is a frustration all its own.

I know just by reading posts from my Blogger Family that they have it much tougher than I do (or ever did), and they are still getting by and doing well. I know that I can do it too, but since I never really had to try in high school or at Cisco, I am having to teach myself how to study and realizing that good papers cannot be written in the wee hours of the morning the day they are due.

It's hard to break the long-established habits I have formed, especially that of procrastination, but I have reached the point that I realize it is imperative for me to do so. Since I have found that I am capable of graduating next May–in only a year–I have become very conscious of my grades and work ethic. I guess that I have had this subconscious thought that there would be more time to remedy a bad grade or bring up my GPA, but now there isn't. If I want to graduate next May so I can be in Austin next summer, I will have to work harder and stick to the plan I've laid out.

I have laid out day-by-day to-do lists in my planner for the next three weeks of school, and I will have to work everyday in multiple subjects in order to accomplish everything I need. I've also written due dates and test dates on my dry erase board so that I will always be aware of what's coming next and how much I have left to do.

Hopefully this and my two countdowns at the bottom will help me to keep everything together and not get too overwhelmed. I'm just trying to focus on what's to come at the end of this grueling three weeks. I can do this.

Good luck with the end of the school year, everyone! Not much longer now.

-Maggie

April 22: Castellum Amicus

"You know what's going to be weird?" Colt said. "When I have a boyfriend to introduce to this group of people."

"I'm so excited for us to get boyfriends!" I said.

"Us three single gals," Melany said.

"I'm not gonna like that," Jacob said. "You see how much room is in this fort right now?!"

"But we'll be older then–" I said.

"We're still going to be doing the same stuff! Making forts in our apartment," Colt said.

"No, but we'll be older and we'll have bigger apartments and bigger forts," I said.

"And more sheets!" KaCee said. "Nicer sheets!"

"And we'll be into our careers and have like two hundred dollars to drop on fort-making supplies," Colt said.

-Maggie

April 21: Weekend of Buddies

-Maggie

P.S. We are making a fort right now. More on that tomorrow.

April 20: How I Met My Buddies

When I asked the Blogger Family for BEDA ideas, many of them suggested a vlog, so I decided to make one when all of my buddies were in town! Enjoy.

-Maggie

April 19: Bad Days

Sometimes, you have a bad day or a bad couple of days, but then they get better.

Sometimes you have a bad week and know that a couple more bad weeks are swiftly approaching, and it seems the only plausible solution to your problems is to hide in the bathroom and cry, or sit on the bus and cry, or curl into a ball on the floor and listen to Adele and cry.

Not only is this not the solution, but apparently it makes fellow bus riders uncomfortable.

Let's be real–the last few weeks of school always suck. Every professor assigns two papers and multiple readings, and you have a test in every class on the same day because they probably get together and plan these things out. Then you have finals–the cherry on top of the shitty sundae.

For the next three weeks, I will be running on very little sleep and probably drinking so much coffee that my eyebrows will actually vibrate off my face. This is just a warning that the rest of my BEDA posts will probably be awful at best.

Just so this isn't all depressing, I will leave you with a little something that made me smile today. I used the rest of my Target birthday gift card to get Let's Pretend This Never Happened (A Mostly True Memoir) by Jenny Lawson. It was one of those books that I just randomly picked up, and I'm glad I did because I have laughed more reading the first two chapters than I did the rest of the day combined. Here's a snippet:

I grew up a poor black girl in New York. Except replace "black" with "white," and "New York" with "rural Texas." The "poor" part can stay. I was born in Austin, Texas, which is known for its popular "Keep Austin Weird" campaign, and since I've spent my whole life being pigeonholed as "that weird girl," I ended up fitting in there perfectly and-lived-happily-ever-after. The-end. That is probably what would have been the end of my book if my parents hadn't moved us away from Austin when I was three.

I have pretty much no memory of Austin, but according to my mom we lived in a walk-up apartment near the military base, and late at night I would stand up in my crib, open the curtains, and attempt to wave soldiers on the street up to my room. My father was one of those soldiers at the time, and when my mom told me this story as a teenager I pointed out that perhaps she should have appreciated my getting him off the streets like that. Instead she and my father just moved my crib away from the window, because they were concerned I was "developing an aptitude for that kind of trade." Apparently I was really distraught about this whole arrangement, because the very next week I shoved a broom into the living room furnace, set it on fire, and ran through the apartment screaming and swinging the flaming torch above my head. Allegedly. I have no memory of this at all, but if it did happen I suspect I was probably waving it around like some kinda awesome patriotic, flaming baton. To hear my mother tell it, I was viciously brandishing it at her like she was Frankenstein's monster and I was several angry villagers. My mother refers to this as my first arson episode. I refer to it as a lesson in why rearranging someone else's furniture is dangerous to everyone.

Okay, that was longer than expected, but I laughed so, so hard. If you're having a bad day or a bad couple of days or a bad couple of weeks, I hope this brightened it a bit.

-Maggie

April 18: Stress

Things I Am Focusing On To Get Through Tonight

1. My venti non-fat white chocolate mocha
2. Two less papers to worry about
3. No work tomorrow
4. Melany and Colt coming on Friday

Things I Am Focusing On To Get Through the Next Three Weeks

1. Apocalyptour the day after my last final
2. Visiting home
3. Three weeks off before summer classes
4. Seattle in July
5. One year left

I can do this.

-Maggie

April 17: Things to Remember

I took this on my first night in New York. In fact, this may have been the first picture I took–if anything, it is the first one I saved.

After Keren picked me up from the airport and we dropped my extremely heavy bags off at her apartment, we made our way to Red Egg, a restaurant in Chinatown. We ordered dim sum and talked to Kim, Keren's best friend who bartends there. Then Keren took me to Grand Central Station, which is beautiful and full of bustling people, and we split a slice of cheesecake. We walked through Bryant Park and Times Square, where we gaped at a giant billboard of Darren Criss's face for at least five minutes. As we walked, I remember thinking that for New York being so large, everything seemed to be very close together.

That night, my first night in New York, I was filled with awe. Everything was new and unknown, and I was so excited to experience everything. It's weird to think back to how I felt on that first night–like New York was this foreign land to be explored. By the time I boarded the plane back to Texas, I felt like I had been there for years.

It felt the same way it does when I leave Austin. It felt like I was leaving home.

-Maggie

April 16: Sorry

It doesn't feel like I have been blogging for fifteen days straight. This is most likely due to the fact that they have all been subpar since I have been too exhausted and busy to take the time to make an adequate post.

I regret to inform you that this is going to be one of those posts.

I am far too sleepy and uninspired to force out another mediocre post, so you are getting this. I am sorry. Just know that I have a few things lined up that need a bit more work, and Melany and Colt are coming to visit this weekend, so I'll have stuff from that too!

I promise I won't suck forever, guys.

-Maggie

April 15: Kismet

Day before yesterday, I was having a bad day at work. I was in a terrible mood and time was dragging because of it, making my seven-hour shift seem like fifteen.

A middle-aged woman with dark hair walked up carrying one of those little blue baskets. I asked her how she was (she was "pretty good"), and began checking her few items. She realized that she had forgotten something, and asked the sacker to grab her two onions.

While we waited, she asked me about school and my major. I told her I was majoring in English, and she asked, as everyone does, if I was going to teach.

"No, I want to be a librarian," I said.

"Oh! My daughter is a librarian," she said. "She could be like your mentor!" She grinned.

"Hey, if she's willing!" I laughed.

We talked some more about her daughter and what she did, I mentioned being worried about not getting accepted into the Master's program, and she asked me some more questions. Then she handed me her business card.

"If there is anything I can do to help you, just let me know," she said.

I took the card and thanked her profusely, startled by her kindness. After all, we had only been talking for a few minutes, the amount of time it took for the sacker to run to the produce section and back. She began gathering her things and said it wasn't a problem, that she would love to help anyone who wanted to be like her daughter.

"You know," she said stopping at the end of the counter, "I never come to this United. I think God sent me here."

It's good to know there are still good people out there.

-Maggie

April 14: Finally

The day has finally come. Pottermore has finally opened, and the existential crisis I have been going through since its announcement last June is finally over. I have been sorted, and I am in Ravenclaw. My life is not a lie.

I was genuinely nervous going into the Sorting Hat quiz, and may have almost cried when the result came up. This is very telling of the kind of person I am.

Anyway, it is late, so I am going to go brew some potions and watch Holy Musical B@man! again... and then go to bed. Priorities, you know?

I apologize for the lame post.

-Maggie

April 13: You should have expected this.

I just got home from work. I was so excited when they let me off that I literally skipped to my car, raced home, ran inside, and almost fell to my death running up the stairs. I am now in my pajamas and it is finally time for HOLY MUSICAL B@MAN.

You should watch it too because it is StarKid and WHY WOULDN'T YOU WATCH IT?



-Maggie

April 12: Today

Today was a pretty good one.

I registered for my summer and fall semesters, and managed to get in all of the classes that I wanted at times that are not awful. I'm excited that I will be finished with Spanish after this summer, and that I'll be trying out yoga. My classes for next fall should be interesting, but I'm also terrified of the amount of writing I will have to do. It is my fault though, for being a English major and History minor.

I went to a late lunch/early dinner at El Chico with KaCee and Jacob. It was great, especially since for most of the week I had been so busy with a paper that I hadn't seen them. Afterwards, KaCee and I went to Target where I used a birthday gift card to get Some Nights by fun. and a pretty dress that I will probably wear to the fancy dinner the Blogger Family is having while in Seattle.

We also went to see 21 Jump Street, which was actually really hilarious. It's one of those funny-because-it's-stupid kind of movies, but it's a really good one. I recommend if you like to laugh at ridiculous things and don't mind language.

I then came home to find my Lightscoop and a envelope from Natalie sitting on my bed. If you needed any more convincing that the Blogger Family is wonderful, here is your proof.

Because I am a weird person (and a girl), this birthday card made me emotional.

I talk about my Blogger Family all of the time, but I don't think anyone realizes how much these "strangers from the Internet" have come to mean to me. I talk to at least one of them every day and mention them at least five times a day. Random things (like Pinto beans) will remind me of them, and I often go to them for advice. I have only met one of them in real life, but they are such a constant in my life now that I often forget that fact. These people are some of my best friends.

The Seattle Trip of Dreams and Wonder is just going to be one big love fest, and I am so excited to meet all of you.

-Maggie

P.S. Shelby asked for a picture of my purse, so here is crappy Photo Booth quality for you.

April 11: Tiny List of Good Things

1. Finally finishing a paper
2. Watching New Girl
3. Getting my purse
4. Thunder and lightning
5. Listening to Fun.
6. Eating chocolate delight
7. Going to bed

-Maggie

April 10: Siblings

I've seen a view people post blogs or things on Facebook saying that today is National Sibling Day or something, so I am just taking their word for it and using it to fill today's BEDA post.

This is Emmy and Zakary. I love them dearly even though most of the time I want to hit them.

Emmy is thirteen and a quintessential junior high girl. She is very easily bored and has way too much energy for her own good, but she can be very funny–though sometimes unintentionally. She loves to dance and actually can (unlike me), and is really good with kids (sometimes unlike me). We are complete opposites in most ways, which causes us to fight a lot, but as far as sisters go, I guess she's pretty cool.

Zak is ten and very much a boy. He plays video games constantly, and his room is decked out in Star Wars memorabilia and covered in Legos, which I step on all the time. He's generally pretty sweet and sometimes he asks me read Harry Potter aloud to him. Our personalities are more similar, so we don't fight as often, but he can be a little prissy. He is our "Bubba" though, so we love him.

We're a pretty cool bunch, even if we don't always get along. Growing up would certainly be less entertaining if they weren't around.

-Maggie

April 9: Twenty Before Twenty-One

1. Save more, spend less
2. Meet the Blogger Family
3. Take a road trip with Julia
4. Reread Magical Thinking by Augusten Burroughs
5. Lose ten pounds (Edit: LOL no.)
6. Complete my collection of Friends on DVD
7. Finish my textbook
8. Go to the Austin Teen Book Festival again (Edit: Went to Mary's bridal shower instead!)
9. Start gathering recipes for my recipe book
10. Learn how to properly cook those recipes
11. Take more pictures
12. Buy, use, and develop at least three two disposable cameras*
13. Write stories
14. Put ten dollars a week into my couch fund (Edit: Okay, I didn't really put ten dollars a week, but I think I made up for it by sticking $250 in there a couple weeks ago.)
15. Find time to read at least fifteen books
16. Buy a good pair of black boots
17. Wear more heels
18. Figure out what is wrong with my printer and fix it
19. Go to Austin with my buddies
20. Write more letters

-Maggie

* Copying Shelby like yeah.

April 8: Twenty Tomorrow

I like my job. I don't always want to go and sometimes the longer shifts seem to drag on for an eternity, but it could be so much worse. I could still be working at Aeropostale.

They work with my school schedule and I haven't been denied requested days off yet, and that's nice. I get paid weekly, which is also nice, and I have coworkers that I really like, which is the nicest. Some of the "regulars" are great too (because grocery stores have those, which I feel isn't something you'd think).

There is one elderly couple that comes to the store nearly everyday because they buy their food one day at a time–no, really. When you ask how they are doing, the husband says, "I am blessed by the Lord, and God bless you."

One young woman always brings her little one-year-old son with her. When they come through my line, she tells him my name is Maggie, and he gets so confused because apparently their cat is also named Maggie. The look he gives me says, "What? You can't be Maggie! You have no fur!"

Then the other day a little old lady came in with her son, and he told me that she was about to celebrate her 101st birthday. I was shocked. She was almost 101 and she was just kickin' along! She didn't need one of those buggies to get around the store, and she wasn't even hard of hearing. Her and her son were making jokes and we all laughed as I was checking their groceries. The son said she needed to write a book on longevity. She shook her head and said it "probably wouldn't be very interesting," which is a lie because take a moment to think of all that she has lived through. I mean, a lot of stuff has happened since 1911.

It is hard for me to believe that I will have been alive for two decades tomorrow. I can't even begin to fathom what is must feel like to have been alive for ten.

-Maggie