My biggest problem when it comes to writing is actually doing it. When I write, it takes forever for me to finish–anything and everything. Blogs sit in drafts unfinished for weeks. School essays were never completed more than twelve hours before they were due. Sometimes it even takes me awhile to craft the perfect Tweet, and that's only 140 characters. It's some sort of mental block I have, and it's very frustrating.
I once read that writer's block is an excuse writers use to not write, and I remember being very upset by this. "No, I love to write!" I'd yell. "I really want to write, I swear!" And I did, and I do. More than anything, I want to be a writer–better yet, a good writer. I want people to look at me and think "writer." I want it, I swear!
Part of my problem stems from wanting to be a good writer. I want everything to be perfect. Everything has to be perfect so everyone thinks I'm a good writer! But perfect is, you know, impossible. I know this. You know this. Everyone knows this! So why do I still try for perfect? I couldn't tell you for sure, but it has to stop.
This desire for my writing to be perfect has kept me from writing at all. I get in my own way. Before I even start writing, I get hung up on how long it will take and how these things never translate from my mind to the page the way I want them to. Better to just not do it at all than to do it and fail, right?
WRONG, MAGGIE.
It's always better to do the thing. Whatever the thing is, you've got to try.
For me, that means to just write–just get something onto the page, tweak it a bit, and let it go. (You know, like that one song from that movie that came out well over a year ago but you still, inexplicably, hear everywhere you go told you to.) I've started carrying a Moleskine in my purse so I can jot down thoughts and outline blog posts while I'm out, rather than writing them down on a sticky note or, worse, expecting myself to remember.
Even though I haven't posted here, I have been writing more. I love having these things to look back on even if they never make it to my blog. Hopefully I will get better at transferring from journal to blog, but baby steps, guys.
-Maggie
Sunday, March 29, 2015
Tuesday, December 9, 2014
Lately
I've lived in Austin for over a month now. There are still empty boxes stacked on our balcony and Melany still hasn't unpacked her room, but our Christmas tree has been up since the third week of November. That's all that really matters anyway.I started my new job as a teller at a credit union right after I got to Austin, and when I say "right after," I mean I moved on a Friday and started training Monday. So yeah, there wasn't a lot of time for settling in, but it's turned out all right so far. At times I get very frustrated with the learning curve, but this would be the case at any new job. Luckily, my coworkers have been nothing but helpful and patient. Also, we have trivia every Friday morning, and I totally kicked ass last time. (That's what they get for having Harry Potter trivia.)
Lately, I have become very aware of how I spend my time. This probably has something to do with having a full-time job for the first time, which means a set schedule and less free time. In the short time that Melany and I have lived together, we have already managed to fall into a weekday routine. After work, we make dinner, sit in our pink chairs, and watch a few episodes of whatever show we're watching (right now, it's Psych). Sometimes we play cards or work on our computers, but that's usually about it.
There's not anything particularly wrong with this. In fact, I really enjoy it and could happily continue with this routine. It's such a nice way to wind down after work. But the thing is I don't want to wait for Fridays. I don't want to be someone who is living for the weekend, you know? It's so easy to get stuck, and I don't want to get too comfortable. I don't want to become content.
So I'm doing my best to live deliberately and all that. There are so many things I want to do and so many things before me. I'm living in a wonderful city with my wonderful friends, and I hope I never get used to that.
-Maggie
Saturday, June 28, 2014
Focus? What?
While still in school, I started a mental list of all the things I wanted to do once I had some free time. The list was pretty long. By the first of June, I was completely finished with school and back in Lubbock after two weeks of traveling. I had a lot of free time in June. How many things did I cross off my list? One.This doesn't mean I haven't done anything else. I just haven't finished anything else. There are just so many things that I want to accomplish, am really excited to accomplish that I want them all done right now. I've found it incredibly difficult to focus on one thing at a time because I want to be doing all of the other things too.
It doesn't help that several of these projects need to be finished as soon as possible–like my résumé and job applications. Then there are the things that I just want finished as soon as possible–like working through Blog Life (which I'm really enjoying, by the way) and redesigning my blog. Then there is everything else.
I'm working on my focus though. I have to. I'm not ever going to get anything done if I can't make myself do one thing at a time. Wish me luck, guys!
-Maggie
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
22 Before 23
Save more, spend lessGraduate collegeLearn to cook something besides chicken strips- Make more videos
Use my DSLR moreGo on an adventureRead at least twenty books I haven't read before- Watch The Office
- Apply to graduate school
Find the perfect couch(Edit: We found the perfect pink chairs instead.)Move to AustinGet my second (and probably third) tattooBlog more- Watch all the movies I own yet have not seen
Finish my textbook- Go to SXSW
Send more letters and packagesWrite more stories- Volunteer somewhere, preferably at a library
Get my family to visit Austin- Buy, use, and develop at least two disposable cameras
- Take a road trip with my BFFL
-Maggie
P.S. Here's last year's.
Monday, April 7, 2014
Lately
Lately, things have been feeling weird.My spring break was hectic and, for the most part, terrible. Between work, getting sick, and the four assignments I had due the first day back to school, it was nothing like a break. The good news is Mary took my pictures for my grad announcements/blog, and I finally got to meet her daughter, Whimsy. Other than that, it was an incredibly stressful week, in which I cried, like, four times.
Things have slowed down since then, which is unnerving in a "calm before the storm" kind of way. I only have five weeks of school left, and a slew of papers to write and tests to take in that time. I've been doing relatively well this semester, but I'm terrified something random and awful is going to happen that will again prevent me from graduating. I've been pushing that thought from my mind all semester, but the closer I get to the end, the harder it is to keep out.
I've been missing Austin more than ever recently. I think it's the fact that school–what has been keeping me in Lubbock this whole time–will finally be over. After that, it's just a few months of saving money, and then it will finally be time. I'm so excited.
I hope you're all doing well. To those still in school, like me, we're almost there! Keep on keeping on.
-Maggie
Saturday, March 15, 2014
Talk directions to me
Last week, a wonderful thing happened. Truly, one of the greatest things to happen probably ever. The best day of my life thus far.... WE GOT INTERNET. Also, either the crazy lady next door has stopped blasting gospel music at two in the morning or I've just gotten used to it. It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood.
Now that I have Internet, and it's Spring Break which means I actually have free time,* I can finally write about the weekend of Melany's birthday. Which was, you know, a month ago. Whatever.
On Thursday, we found out that Craig Ferguson was doing a show at the Paramount on Friday night. It didn't look like there were any seats left, so we took it as a sign that we weren't meant to spend eighty dollars we didn't have even if it was Craig Ferguson.
But on Friday morning when I woke up, the first thing Melany said to me was, "Good morning! I think I found seats for Craig Ferguson." So we took it as a sign that we were meant to spend eighty dollars we didn't have because it was Craig Ferguson. We honestly didn't have a choice. If Craig Ferguson is in town, you go see Craig Ferguson.
So on Valentine's Day, Britny, Melany, and I went to see Craig Ferguson. It was everything I dreamed it would be. Cross that off the bucket list. Afterwards, we refreshed our red lipstick and headed to Barbarella where we danced the night away to eighties music and I acted as bodyguard for the group. (I'm so not about strange guys dancing up behind girls. SO NOT ABOUT IT.) It was a really, really great night. It was the first Valentine's Day since I was little that I didn't think about it being Valentine's Day. Not that I'm ever particularly bitter about Valentine's, but it was still nice to not think about boys or relationship statuses. It was nice to drink rum and dance to Madonna, to be young and carefree.
Saturday was Melany's birthday, and we spent most of the day decorating her apartment for the little party we were going to have later that night. We got all dressed up for our reservation at South Congress Cafe, which we were so late for because it took Melany three years to curl her hair so they gave our table away and we had to awkwardly stand in the doorway for an hour. (But because I am a good friend and it was her birthday and she got sick at the restaurant, I didn't say anything about it. I'm such a nice person.) Although everything that night didn't go quite as planned with the reservation, Melany getting sick, and me accidentally making margaritas for twenty people, it still ended up okay. Melany felt better for a few hours, long enough for us to have some cupcakes and play Cards Against Humanity.
The next day I ventured to Ikea in Round Rock by myself to buy my bookshelf. It is my belief that Melany purposely contracted a virus just so she wouldn't have to go to Ikea with me, though I have no idea why she wouldn't want to go because Ikea is BEAUTIFUL. I'd never been before, and I was running around like a kid in a candy store, throwing all kinds of stuff into my basket. I was so tempted to buy things I don't even need right now (like a couch and area rug and dining room table) just because they were so reasonably priced. I'm going to have a field day once I move to Austin and Melany and I go shopping for our apartment.
When I drove back into Austin, I headed to South Congress so I could go to Parts + Labour and visit KaCee at work. When I passed the Snack Bar on the way back to Amy's, I noticed there was space at the bar. I decided the need for chicken avocado quinoa was too great and ducked inside.
I like spending time by myself. I do things that are generally considered group activities (like go to the movies) alone all the time. I've eaten alone many times before, but always at places like Chipotle while watching Frasier on my phone or something–never at a sit-down restaurant. I'd always wanted to, but the opportunity had never presented itself until then. I ordered a drink** and my quinoa, and just listened to the conversations around me. There was an nice English man to my left who watched my purse for me when I ran to the restroom, and a Russian guy and his bro friend to my right who talked about the Sochi Olympics. It was just nice. I highly recommend.
After I left the Snack Bar, I stopped by Amy's for some ice cream and to see KaCee. It felt so casual, just dropping by KaCee's work, chatting, making lunch plans for the next day. I felt so content that night, in my city, with my best friends. It's always so hard to leave.
Eight months.
-Maggie
* That's a lie. I have no free time. They call it a break, but really it's just a week to catch up on all the reading and essays you've gotten behind on.
** If you're ever at the Snack Bar, get the Pomgrenada. It was delish.
Now that I have Internet, and it's Spring Break which means I actually have free time,* I can finally write about the weekend of Melany's birthday. Which was, you know, a month ago. Whatever.
On Thursday, we found out that Craig Ferguson was doing a show at the Paramount on Friday night. It didn't look like there were any seats left, so we took it as a sign that we weren't meant to spend eighty dollars we didn't have even if it was Craig Ferguson.
But on Friday morning when I woke up, the first thing Melany said to me was, "Good morning! I think I found seats for Craig Ferguson." So we took it as a sign that we were meant to spend eighty dollars we didn't have because it was Craig Ferguson. We honestly didn't have a choice. If Craig Ferguson is in town, you go see Craig Ferguson.
So on Valentine's Day, Britny, Melany, and I went to see Craig Ferguson. It was everything I dreamed it would be. Cross that off the bucket list. Afterwards, we refreshed our red lipstick and headed to Barbarella where we danced the night away to eighties music and I acted as bodyguard for the group. (I'm so not about strange guys dancing up behind girls. SO NOT ABOUT IT.) It was a really, really great night. It was the first Valentine's Day since I was little that I didn't think about it being Valentine's Day. Not that I'm ever particularly bitter about Valentine's, but it was still nice to not think about boys or relationship statuses. It was nice to drink rum and dance to Madonna, to be young and carefree.
Saturday was Melany's birthday, and we spent most of the day decorating her apartment for the little party we were going to have later that night. We got all dressed up for our reservation at South Congress Cafe, which we were so late for because it took Melany three years to curl her hair so they gave our table away and we had to awkwardly stand in the doorway for an hour. (But because I am a good friend and it was her birthday and she got sick at the restaurant, I didn't say anything about it. I'm such a nice person.) Although everything that night didn't go quite as planned with the reservation, Melany getting sick, and me accidentally making margaritas for twenty people, it still ended up okay. Melany felt better for a few hours, long enough for us to have some cupcakes and play Cards Against Humanity.
The next day I ventured to Ikea in Round Rock by myself to buy my bookshelf. It is my belief that Melany purposely contracted a virus just so she wouldn't have to go to Ikea with me, though I have no idea why she wouldn't want to go because Ikea is BEAUTIFUL. I'd never been before, and I was running around like a kid in a candy store, throwing all kinds of stuff into my basket. I was so tempted to buy things I don't even need right now (like a couch and area rug and dining room table) just because they were so reasonably priced. I'm going to have a field day once I move to Austin and Melany and I go shopping for our apartment.
When I drove back into Austin, I headed to South Congress so I could go to Parts + Labour and visit KaCee at work. When I passed the Snack Bar on the way back to Amy's, I noticed there was space at the bar. I decided the need for chicken avocado quinoa was too great and ducked inside.
I like spending time by myself. I do things that are generally considered group activities (like go to the movies) alone all the time. I've eaten alone many times before, but always at places like Chipotle while watching Frasier on my phone or something–never at a sit-down restaurant. I'd always wanted to, but the opportunity had never presented itself until then. I ordered a drink** and my quinoa, and just listened to the conversations around me. There was an nice English man to my left who watched my purse for me when I ran to the restroom, and a Russian guy and his bro friend to my right who talked about the Sochi Olympics. It was just nice. I highly recommend.
After I left the Snack Bar, I stopped by Amy's for some ice cream and to see KaCee. It felt so casual, just dropping by KaCee's work, chatting, making lunch plans for the next day. I felt so content that night, in my city, with my best friends. It's always so hard to leave.
Eight months.
-Maggie
* That's a lie. I have no free time. They call it a break, but really it's just a week to catch up on all the reading and essays you've gotten behind on.
** If you're ever at the Snack Bar, get the Pomgrenada. It was delish.
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
A Few Things
01. Dance skills are something I am woefully lacking. Never have I ever shaken it like a saltshaker or a Polaroid picture. Not for lack of trying. I actually am physically incapable of doing so, but I love to watch other people dance. When I lived at home and had access to TiVo, I watched So You Think You Can Dance with my mom and sister every week. Now I rarely get to watch it, but I did manage to catch this performance, and it is breathtaking.
02. Read this letter written by Caitlin Moran to her daughter.
03. Regardless of how annoying Miley Cyrus has become (and probably always was), you must admit that some of her songs are catchy. And even though images of Miley "twerking" are burned into my retinas, "We Can't Stop" is no exception to this. (It's the chorus, man. Gets me every time.) Fortunately, awesome bands like Bastille take these catchy songs and put good vocals to them, so we feel a little less bad for singing along.
04. Recently over at A Beautiful Mess, they shared photos of Emma's living room and it absolute perfection. I am in love.
02. Read this letter written by Caitlin Moran to her daughter.
03. Regardless of how annoying Miley Cyrus has become (and probably always was), you must admit that some of her songs are catchy. And even though images of Miley "twerking" are burned into my retinas, "We Can't Stop" is no exception to this. (It's the chorus, man. Gets me every time.) Fortunately, awesome bands like Bastille take these catchy songs and put good vocals to them, so we feel a little less bad for singing along.
04. Recently over at A Beautiful Mess, they shared photos of Emma's living room and it absolute perfection. I am in love.
05. You must have seen this by now, but you should watch it again because it is just as funny the sixteenth time.
-Maggie
-Maggie
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Twenty-One Before Twenty-Two
Save more, spend lessCross "See Fall Out Boy in concert" off bucket list- Reread Running With Scissors
- Find the perfect couch
Send more letters and packagesPlan and execute a successful Austin meet-upWear lipstick more often- Graduate college (Edit: Not until May!)
- Move to Austin (Edit: Not until October.)
Read at least fifteen more books- Watch all the movies that I own yet have not seen
- Finish my textbook
Organize a package swapWrite more storiesContinue gathering recipes for my recipe book- Learn how to properly cook those recipes (and the other ones)
- Visit New York again
Get one of my tiny tattoos (or all three)- Start a blog with Melany
Wear more dresses- Go to SXSW
Monday, February 4, 2013
BEST DAY EVER
HOPE FOR HUMANITY HAS BEEN RESTORED, MY FRIENDS.
Fall Out Boy did more before nine this morning than I will do all day. I wasn't even out of bed yet when a Tweet from Britny told me the best news you will hear all year: FALL OUT BOY IS BACK TOGETHER. Just a few hours ago, they announced their comeback and upcoming album Save Rock and Roll (out in May), released the single "My Songs Know What You Did In the Dark (Light Em Up)", and posted tour dates.
Needless to say, I am freaking out. I absolutely adore Fall Out Boy. I can't tell you how many times in the last three years I've lamented not being able to see them live before they broke up, and how many times daily I wished they would get back together. AND NOW THEY ARE.
Tickets for their tour go on sale Friday and Saturday, and until I get a ticket to one of their shows (hopefully Austin, but let's be real–I would go anywhere for Fall Out Boy) I will be a big ball of anxiety. So if you see or talk to me this week, just keep that in mind.
Now I have to try and go about my day normally, but we'll see how that goes. I'll probably be singing Fall Out Boy loudly everywhere I go. (See: Reasons Maggie is Still Single)
-Maggie
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
April 25: Bits
Today, the high was 102 degrees. Summer is fast-approaching, and I am not pleased or prepared.
After I got off work, I drove to the Starbucks on Quaker and picked up a venti nonfat no whip white chocolate mocha in preparation to stay up all night working (again). While waiting at the window for my coffee, I was struck with a random story inspiration that I will hopefully get to write after these next few weeks are over. If I am actually able to finish it (because I am not good at the finishing part of writing stories) and it doesn't suck (it probably will), I will share it with you.
There are these new Dinamita Nachos Picoso Doritos and they are really good. New unhealthy addiction alert.
I am scheduled to work an eight hour and forty-five minute shift on Saturday–fifteen minutes short of getting a lunch. This is the second time this has happened. I am now on a mission to kill all the things.
Last night, I found out the entire series of Star Trek: The Next Generation is available on Netflix Instant. All I want to do is snuggle up and watch Captain Picard be awesome, but I must finish these next three weeks first.
-Maggie
After I got off work, I drove to the Starbucks on Quaker and picked up a venti nonfat no whip white chocolate mocha in preparation to stay up all night working (again). While waiting at the window for my coffee, I was struck with a random story inspiration that I will hopefully get to write after these next few weeks are over. If I am actually able to finish it (because I am not good at the finishing part of writing stories) and it doesn't suck (it probably will), I will share it with you.
There are these new Dinamita Nachos Picoso Doritos and they are really good. New unhealthy addiction alert.
I am scheduled to work an eight hour and forty-five minute shift on Saturday–fifteen minutes short of getting a lunch. This is the second time this has happened. I am now on a mission to kill all the things.
Last night, I found out the entire series of Star Trek: The Next Generation is available on Netflix Instant. All I want to do is snuggle up and watch Captain Picard be awesome, but I must finish these next three weeks first.
-Maggie
Monday, April 9, 2012
April 9: Twenty Before Twenty-One
Save more, spend lessMeet the Blogger Family- Take a road trip with Julia
Reread Magical Thinking by Augusten Burroughs- Lose ten pounds (Edit: LOL no.)
- Complete my collection of Friends on DVD
- Finish my textbook
- Go to the Austin Teen Book Festival again (Edit: Went to Mary's bridal shower instead!)
Start gathering recipes for my recipe book- Learn how to properly cook those recipes
Take more pictures- Buy, use, and develop at least
threetwo disposable cameras* Write storiesPut ten dollars a week into mycouchfund(Edit: Okay, I didn't really put ten dollars a week, but I think I made up for it by sticking $250 in there a couple weeks ago.)Find time to read at least fifteen booksBuy a good pair of black bootsWear more heels- Figure out what is wrong with my printer and fix it
Go to Austin with my buddiesWrite more letters
-Maggie
* Copying Shelby like yeah.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
New York, New York
"One belongs to New York instantly. One belongs to it as much in five minutes as in five years."
-Thomas Wolfe
New York City is wonderful, but you already knew that. I, too, knew that before I went. I knew I would love it because it's New York. How could I not? We're talking about the greatest city in the world here. Of course, of course I would love it. And I did love it, and I do. I immediately felt at home.
It's a city people fall in love with for a reason, and you can't really explain it, but you can feel it. The feeling is acute. It happens all at once and swallows you up as you're walking through the Village in the cold or riding the subway back to Brooklyn late at night. You can't help but grin as you take in the graffitied buildings and the taxis weaving through traffic and the eclectic people walking alongside you.
It is simply New York, and it has seized a piece of me in the same way Austin has. You can expect to see me back there for good one day–with Melany in tow, of course, as I couldn't possibly open a second coffee shop by myself.
-Maggie
Monday, November 21, 2011
Sometimes I am such a girl.
There is a direct correlation between the dropping temperatures and my growing awareness of being alone.
Every year at about this time, I suddenly realize that I am alone and have been for a very long time. The thought, which is usually tucked away in the back of my mind, claws its way to the forefront and camps out until March. I am not sure why this is. Maybe it's just easier to be lonely when it's cold outside.
At any rate, it makes me feel immensely girly. Not the good kind of girly with lipstick and dresses, but the bad kind that makes you feel stupid and vulnerable because you want someone.
I am fine without someone. I do not need someone. I am not wallowing in my misery. I'm not even miserable. Sometimes I just think it would be really nice if I had someone to lie in bed and read with, or dance in the car to Coldplay with, or have a Harry Potter marathon with.
It's not so bad to want things from time to time.
-Maggie
Every year at about this time, I suddenly realize that I am alone and have been for a very long time. The thought, which is usually tucked away in the back of my mind, claws its way to the forefront and camps out until March. I am not sure why this is. Maybe it's just easier to be lonely when it's cold outside.
At any rate, it makes me feel immensely girly. Not the good kind of girly with lipstick and dresses, but the bad kind that makes you feel stupid and vulnerable because you want someone.
I am fine without someone. I do not need someone. I am not wallowing in my misery. I'm not even miserable. Sometimes I just think it would be really nice if I had someone to lie in bed and read with, or dance in the car to Coldplay with, or have a Harry Potter marathon with.
It's not so bad to want things from time to time.
-Maggie